Connection and Caring

Maybe you’ve seen the videos of snow monkeys sitting around lazily grooming through each other’s fur. The first minute of this one is my favorite. Just watching it brings my shoulders down away from my ears an inch or two. My breath gets a little deeper.

Some of the blissed out expressions on those monkey’s faces look very familiar to me. After all, what the monkeys are doing and what we do during a massage session are not all that far apart. Getting a massage can be about improving our health, yes, but it’s also about connection and caring for both ourselves and others. Kind touch is simply the medium and one our bodies are built to understand.

Diane Jacob, a pioneer in the field of manual therapy writes in her book Dermoneuromodulation, “Manual therapy, maybe all health care…probably evolved biologically as social grooming in primates and pre-language humans. All the neurobiological pathways, molecules, neurons, and synaptic proteins for appreciating social touch and physical care from another, are still all there in us.”

Social touch and Skin Hunger

Many people during the pandemic came to understand the stress, anxiety and even depression that can result when we don’t receive enough healthy touch. The term “Skin Hunger” is sometimes used to describe it. It refers not only to intimate touch, but all the social touch that happens throughout our days from a pat on the back from a teammate to a hug from a best friend. These kinds of brief but meaningful interactions offer something important often without us even realizing it.

While, in general, we are now less isolated by the pandemic than we were, this society still tends to keep its distance. We are glued to our phones. We are discouraged or prohibited from offering any supportive touch to students or coworkers. Our seniors are often isolated and living without regular contact with family or friends. Even doctors rarely touch the physical bodies they are there to attend to.

How can Massage Help?

While many people think of massage as an indulgent treat or a way to manage pain, it can also be a way to reconnect with ourselves and others. Those who are experiencing skin hunger may find this especially appealing, but certainly anybody can benefit from tapping in to the role that touch plays in our lives. From the moment we are born, skin-to-skin contact is vital to our health. Touch is the first thing that tells us that we are human and without it our bodies can struggle.

While research continues to explore how we process touch and the effects it has on our various systems, we know from common sense how a kind touch can make us feel. It can be a way to remind ourselves of our humanness and our role as social creatures who rely on each other for care and support.

All that said, I don’t expect anyone to show up at my studio requesting a social grooming session. Instead, I welcome all the stiff necks and high stress and sore feet. The care will be there, regardless.

Book a Session

If you are interested in experiencing the benefits of a massage focused on kind, comforting touch try scheduling a Supportive Massage with me. These sessions are about listening to you and the subtle/not-so-subtle messages of your body in order to provide a unique, effective, and nourishing experience.