the Not-so-Weird Massage Questions People feel weird about asking
Welcome
I’ve been part of the massage world for over 25 years, but I grew up in a place/time where massage wasn’t part of my vocabulary. I understand that for people who have never received massage or have less experience with it, it can feel like a strange activity, riddled with potential faux-pas. So I thought I’d launch this blog by answering a few of those questions.
Do I have to take off my clothes/ How much should I take off?
Massage therapists often say “Undress to your level of comfort” but clients often think there’s an expected level of undress and they, understandably, want to comply. The truth is, at least for the style of massage I do, ANY amount of disrobing or not disrobing is fine. Because of my in-home work with seniors, I’m accustomed to working with people while fully dressed, though if this is what you prefer, comfortable lounge wear is easiest to work through (denim /thick material is more difficult). You are also welcome to undress down to just your boxers/briefs/panties or to take those off as well. Your comfort is key.
At all times, only the area I’m massaging will be exposed. The rest of you will be covered by a sheet/blanket.
What if I’m self-conscious about ____ or _____?
Massage is weird. You’re being invited to lay down on a table in a stranger/near-stranger’s office where they will have their hands on your body for at least an hour. We all have parts of our bodies we don’t always feel great about or maybe we feel uncomfortable in our bodies in general. We may also have areas that we know we don’t want a therapist to touch. This can be for any reason at all. This is all totally okay!
I am not here to judge your weight, blemishes, or body hair. I’m not here to comment on your tattoos or scars. I am also not here to push you to receive massage on an area that you don’t want me working on. You can leave me this information on your intake form or feel free to let me know before we start or during our session if you start to feel uncomfortable for any reason.
And if staying clothed helps you be more comfortable, that is always an option.
Do I weigh too much to get a massage?
I work with all sorts of body types and sizes. There are no restrictions on who deserves to receive positive, healthy touch. My SE Portland massage studio is a small space that, unfortunately, doesn’t have room to accommodate a wider table, but if you think you would be more comfortable on a wider table, I can refer you to another therapist that has one.
What if I don’t like the music/temperature of the room/pressure of the massage?
I know it might feel uncomfortable to speak up and tell me the music I’m playing isn’t your favorite, or that you’re too hot/cold or that you’d like a little deeper/lighter pressure on a particular area. Maybe the face rest isn’t feeling right or you don’t know where to put your arms. But please know that my top priority is making sure you’re comfortable. If any part of your massage is working against that comfort, I want to know so I can correct it and get us on a better path. I value your input and will take none of it personally. Also, asking for something you need and getting it, no questions asked, can feel really good!
Is it okay for me to talk during my session?
I get that it can feel strange to be cared for in silence, but you never have to feel that conversation is a necessary part of the experience. If talking helps you relax and feel more comfortable, then, I welcome it. And of course, if you have any questions or input about what you’re experiencing, I encourage you to speak up. But if you prefer a quieter session, please feel free to embrace the silence.
What if I fall asleep/snore?
Go for it! One of my favorite memories is from the semester in massage school when we had our student clinic. At the time, our tables were separated only by curtains, so that by the end of the hour, a whole room full of massage clients could be heard gently snoring away their stress.
I believe that if you fall asleep, it’s what your body needs most. You will still get all the benefits of the massage even if you drift off. I will make sure you’re awake before I leave the room at the end of the session and if, for some reason, you fall back asleep before you get off the table I will eventually knock to wake you back up (this has only happened once in 25+ years!).
How fast do I have to get off the table at the end? I just want to take a nap.
Please, please, please take your time. If you have the space in your schedule, I encourage you to rest on the table, maybe observing how your body feels or simply letting the work we did settle in a bit. I encourage you to move slowly back to standing and to savor a slower pace.
I usually leave an hour between clients so that there’s never a rush.
Should I leave a tip?
In spa settings tips are important to the therapists who earn only a portion of what you pay for your session. At Bene Massage, tipping is always optional. While I appreciate tips I don’t expect them nor do I feel bad when I don’t receive them. Please just come in and receive the care. If you want to show your appreciation, referring a friend or family member or leaving a review is a great option and you’ll have my thanks.
When should I come back?
Everyone is different, but a general rule of thumb is to get a massage at least once a month. Monthly massage can help lower stress levels and keep aches and pains at bay. If you struggle with anxiety, a regular massage can start to teach your body/mind how to rest in a more relaxed state so that you can carry that with you between sessions. If you’re dealing with higher levels of stress or pain, a series of more frequent sessions can be useful as well.
I know monthly or more sessions can be out of reach for people, but whatever kind of regular schedule you can manage will benefit you and give you something sweet and nourishing to look forward to.
If you have any other questions, please reach out. I’m happy to answer anything I can.